70/840/3,640/25,550…

That’s how many years,months,weeks and days I will have been on this earth as of December 20th. It’s not those numbers that scare me…it’s the numbers still yet to be added!!! I have never felt my own mortality as strong as I do now, approaching the big 7-0.

I’ve never been one to have FOMO – fear of missing out, but not knowing what will happen in the days,weeks, years to come is freaking me out!! I want to know how it all turns out!! What happens to everyone!! I want to be there for everything…the good, the great, the not so great,the achievements, the stumbles,the joy,the sadness, the laughter, the tears.

Miss Ava – will she be a 3rd generation nurse??? Will she choose another path?? She made me a Nana! This week we are talking PROM DRESSES!!! Wasn’t she just at my house, having popcorn, watching DWTS, learning letters and words???

Miss Calli – I dare you to tell me this girl doesn’t have natural athletic ability!!! She played volleyball this year for the first time ever….certainly did NOT look like a first time player! And like her mom, basketball is in her genes! Her Blue Papaw would absolutely LOVE watching her play. And the there is softball!! Watching her smack that ball…it’s the best! What path will she take?? She has a natural touch with animals. She has raised a goose – who followed her everywhere! She bottle fed a kitten they found in the ditch! She has no fear!

Bryson – Well at 11, it’s hard to say where he will go!!! He loves basketball and baseball…and gaming! Will those video games lead him somewhere in the tech world?? Can’t wait to see him grow and what interests he will follow!

Miss Leah – If mom and dad have any say….only one word…PURDUE! At only 5, she’s discovering everything!!! She loves crafts and helping mom bake….loves a good water gun fight with Nana! Dad is introducing her to running and biking – both activities she can do all through out her life! Maybe she’ll go down the medical path…

And last but certainly not least…Sawyer! He’ll be 5 end of June…he’s typical boy!! Dinosaurs,monster trucks,army men!! Maybe he’ll follow dad into law enforcement! He did come to Christmas dressed in his army man camo outfit…maybe the military! Or maybe an astronaut!

Now maybe you have a better understanding of this FOMO thing! My Mom knew 4 of her 5 great-grandkids…I hope I am that lucky. If you happen to read this, I would love your thoughts on this…and am I alone with these thoughts???

Only time will tell…

Really it was “Oh what a weekend”! My 50th(I have a hard time saying that!)high school reunion! There was informal gathering Friday evening. Another gathering at our old high school gym Saturday morning. The official reunion Saturday evening. I heard more than half of the class turned out! I know there are classmates I missed talking with. I’m grateful for those that found me to catch up with!

So after all the hoopla died down,I got to wondering, how many had “what if” or “if only” thoughts. Not regrets!! Me? Maybe one or two. Definitely no regrets!

If my life had not taken the path it did,I wouldn’t have been blessed with 3 wonderful children. And in turn, now have the honor of being Nana to 5 precious grandchildren!

If my life had taken the path it did,I wouldn’t have found this great place to work – doing what I love – working in surgery. From my first day there,17 years ago, they treated me like family.

If my life hadn’t taken the path it did,I never would have found my concert sisters!!! The short version is I found this absolutely wonderful group of gals with one thing in common…we love Chris Daughtry & his music! I’ve traveled near & far to meet up & go to concerts. I’ve hosted once or twice too!

But I can say with absolute certainty, I have NO regrets.

First, I have to come clean and admit I stole the title! My friend and former coworker, Jo Brewer,posted this blog https://maybienvh.wordpress.com/2018/05/24/between-65-and-death/, and it is what has prompted this writing.

Second, I usually say “Read if you want” but this time I’m going to encourage you to read this one … there just might be a something revealing in this one!!

On June 30th, I will toss my scrubs in the dirty laundry for the last time. Yes, I’m going to retire! While I will stay PRN/supplemental, no more scheduled days!!! Turning 65 in December, I did start to think about retirement. My official retirement age is 66 and I really thought I would work until then or even longer. But an episode with my back prompted me to maybe reconsider the timing.

44 years(for the most part)in the OR has not done my body any favors. Both knees replaced 2 years ago, arthritis in both thumb joints…while the back issue may not have been directly related to work, it certainly has not been made better!! Pushing/pulling patients, equipment,standing for hours…

And then I read the above mentioned blog! In a nutshell, it lists reasons why we DON’T retire and gives all the reasons we SHOULD! Honestly , it was a light bulb moment! I had some things to consider and a talk with my financial guy cleared that up. He assured me I COULD retire!!

And so, the decision was made. I have 5 wonderful grandchildren and I want to be involved in whatever they are doing!! I want to travel whenever I want! I want to take those grandkids on trips! OK, their parents can come too! And I remember all to well what retirement wasn’t like for my parents. My dad retiring one day, having surgery for colon cancer the next! A year of chemo. There were probably only 2 or 3 good years before we learned his kidneys were failing. It was not the “Golden Years” they had planned!

I thought it would be a difficult decision to make…but it wasn’t. It is bittersweet because the people I work with are my second family! But I will, hopefully, see them every once in awhile!

So there you have it! I am excited to see what is next!!

 

The most dreaded word in the English language has reared it’s ugly head again…this time with vengeance! CANCER!! It affected my dad, my aunt, friends and even myself. It has taken the lives of my cousin, a dear friend, a coworker.

And now I have to use that word with my mom.  She has been diagnosed with anaplastic thyroid cancer. It is rare – less than2% of all thyroid cancers are this type. It is very aggressive and fast growing. Within 5 days she went from living on her own,driving…to the ER, to being admitted to hospital, having a biopsy done, having a PEG feeding tube placed, to being released to a skilled nursing facility.  The future is just taking it day by day. I got a crash course in maneuvering through the healthcare system! Mom is 93 and has been and continues to be a trooper!

And earlier this week cancer took my friend and fellow Pool Bitch, Luanne. I don’t remember when she and Becky started coming to the pool every Saturday and Sunday. It just seems like that’s how we’ve always spent our summer weekends! I said we should start our own Youtube channel – I just know women of a certain age would “get us”! LOL Luanne put up with some all-in-good-fun teasing about her FLIP PHONE!! Becky and I finally brought her into the Smart Phone age! We miss her dearly – there will be an empty chair and a Margarita drank in her honor.

There have been some tough days…but I have gotten and continue to get through them with the help and support of my friends, my kids, and my co-workers. So thankful Zibby and Allison are close.  They pop in and see Grandma, bring her pictures, take her laundry. Neil and Melissa have made the not so short trek over with Leah to visit. Becky and Mary have been there with food and drink…and drink! And my co-workers have been there with hugs and understanding as I have changed my hours.

Life is short – no matter what you may think!

 

I say this quietly, with trepidation, and knocking on wood! I have survived the first 6 days of 2018…but I did the same in 2017 before it went to hell in a hand basket! And what exactly does that mean anyway??

To say 2017 was trying would be the ultimate understatement! To share a quote from one of my favorite movies – “that which does not kill us, makes us stronger.” Well call me Wonder Woman! NOT!!

Not only did I go thru some tough times, the girls did as well. But they both came out the other side stronger and in great places. I think it’s safe to say they are looking forward to 2018 being a great year.

One highlight of the year was having some roommates! There was some conditions for this and one was to purge my house. Let’s just say we filled a dumpster! But it was needed and long overdue!

Things started to go downhill Memorial Day weekend. That’s when a possible tornado came thru. I think it was a tornado because what else could blow my overhead garage door off…from the inside?!! So there I am trying to find someone to come and just take my garage door so I can get my car out!! Huge thanks to my co-workers contractor husband who graciously came and did the job.

So there I am with no garage door.  Two weeks later….BOOM! Some JACKASS speeds thru my front yard, crashes into my less-than-2yrold-car, spins it so hard it crashes into the garage, takes out half a wall! It was like a scene from a movie.  And the kicker of all this…the JACKASS that caused was driving WITHOUT a license AND didn’t have any charges filed against him! I’m still pissed!

I did manage a short getaway to Michigan to help my aunt and uncle celebrate their 50th wedding anniversary! My cousin, David, rented a beautiful house on Lake Michigan. But this trip was not without drama…unfortunately provided moi! Whatever made me think I could ride a bike!! As people are asking me if I’m okay, all I can think is “YOU DUMBASS! YOU’RE HAVING KNEE REPLACEMENT SURGERY IN 2 WEEKS! DON’T SCREW THIS UP!!” While the rest of the clan went on, I nursed my wounds with a couple glasses of local wine!

I also managed a weekend to visit Neil and Melissa and see their new home! It was a working trip…we thought we would tackle trying to tame some of the plant life that had grown wild around the house! We thought we had done a fairly good job, but it was a little overwhelming! They did have a pro come and do the job! Money very well spent! It made all the difference! Now you see the house, not the jungle!

September 1st came soon enough. I had made the decision earlier in the year to undergo knee replacement surgery on both knees…NOT at the same time! It is different being on the patient end!! But I knew everyone involved with my care and I wouldn’t have had it any other way! The surgery team had written messages to me on the board in the OR! And I knew Dr. Gripe(aka JT) would give me the best anesthesia and Dr. Condict would fix my 40yrs-of-OR nursing-knees.

I did well after the 1st one and was ready for #2 on Oct 17th. Again, it went off like clockwork. I was a week into rehab when…BOOM! SHINGLES!! Talk about a set back! There were 4 or 5 days I could barely take care of myself! I can’t help but think they have played some part in holding me back on getting my knees where they should be.

But the topper to ending 2017 was saying goodbye to Belle. She was a lover, always ready with kisses. And a little spitfire! She could hold her own against Brick! There is no Corgi in my house for the first time in almost 20 years.

To end…THANK YOU to my daughters for all your help in getting me to and from all my surgeries. THANK YOU to Neil and Melissa who came after my 2nd surgery and finished putting away the outdoor furniture. THANK YOU to Becky who helped keep me fed and provided a taxi on occasion. THANK YOU to everyone at BSC – for keeping in touch whether on FB, text, or phone.

Well, after 2 weeks working in the scheduling office, it’s back to the frontlines on Wednesday! Let’s hope I remember how to do THAT job better than I did riding a bike! #bringit2018